Rose amongst the Thorns
by Moisie
Summary: A souls descent into madness and its attempt to climb back out. Dark situations Contains adult themes- rape, torture amongst other nasties. (Don't worry, not all dark. Angst, romance and humor also applied in measure.)
1. Silent whispers

**Authors Note**  
  
Im happy oh so happy..... I have a beta now...(does happy dance with rapid arm movements) Introducing the wonderful **flashladyb** who is helping me make this grabbled attempt at storytelling flow. Bows to Miss Flash, okay this is me posting the beta version with all the corrections. Ill be removing the other chappies to rework, so hopefully I won't be subjecting you to my overuse of the comma or under-use of the full stop.  
  
**Disclaimer**  
  
All characters belong to the fantastic J.K Rowling, I have only borrowed them to indulge my overactive imagination  
  
Please feel free to make suggestions and tell me were I have made any errors.  
  
Ok this is my first shot at writing a fanfic so be gentle, this story is rated R for largely containing adult themes and some references to rape and torture in later chapters, so if any of this could offend you please do not read.

**You have been warned!!**&  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
**Silent Whispers**  
  
The thunder roared and the raindrops flung themselves unrelenting against the windowpane. Hermione groaned and blearily opened her eyes, realizing that she must have dozed off. Tonight she had promised herself that she was going to get some sleep. She had been studying zealously, since the early hours of yesterday morning; abandoning her reading only to eat and drink, and tend to other bodily functions which, unfortunately, could not be ignored.  
  
Her entire summer had been spent obsessively reading, in an unsuccessful attempt to stave off the trepidation that had been haunting her since her return home. Sleep had long since become an elusive state that her mind constantly grasped for but never quite reached, during the last weeks of Hogwarts and the first three weeks into the summer holidays.  
  
"This is becoming ridiculous!" she groaned as she jerked awake, after nearly landing in her cold tomato soup which her mother had placed at her desk at some point during the day.  
  
Since Sirius's death last year and her unforgettable encounter in the Department of Mysteries. Hermione had become more obsessed (if that were possible) in learning as much as possible in her summer holidays before the school commenced.  
  
Finally after having reread the same paragraph in les Charms Dangereux for the fifth time Hermione decided to abandon her studies and retreat to the bed. Snapping the book shut she turned off her bedroom light, and pulled off her jumper and jogging bottoms. Unclasping her bra, Hermione turned to the bed and smiled. Crookshanks gave her a look which clearly translated to "About time!" Hermione chuckled and threw her bra on the chair which sat next to her bed. She stretched, placing her hands high above her shoulders the bones in her spine giving a loud groan of protest.  
  
"I know, I know! I should have been in bed hours ago but there is a charm to that causes unbearable itching and causes blue smoke to fume at the ears, and it has this complex wrist jab" Hermione explained as she attempted to demonstrate with a her quill. Crookshanks was clearly unimpressed and his response was to roll over onto his back and flick his tail. "Oh suit yourself". Hermione slipped under the covers and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep.  
  
The rain drops battering against the window increased in their assault, the thunder roared ominously and the wind screamed a sound that lost itself in its echo, it was as if the weather was desperately trying to tell the young woman that lay in her bed something. Too bad she did not understand its desperate cries.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

The wind roared and a flash of green light followed by a loud Crash pulled Hermione out of her light slumber.  
  
"Collect the wretch, dispose of the others." a woman's voice ordered.  
  
Hermione sprang out of bed grabbed her wand. "Avada Kedavra" a man's voice roared followed by a flash of green light and a woman's scream followed by silence. Hermione's breathing constricted in her throat.  
  
"MUM DAD!!!!" she roared rushing forward. Hermione dashed along the short passage way towards her parent's bedroom. The bedroom door was flung open and two figures appeared wearing masks and long dark cloaks.  
  
Now whether it was her shout that stunned them or the fact that they were faced with a very scantly clad Hermione is unknown; but the few seconds hesitation was all she needed.  
  
"Occido" a flash of red lighting erupted from her wand and hit the larger of the two Death Eaters, who promptly turned a brilliant shade of blue and clutched at his chest and fell to his knees.  
  
"Petrificus Totalus" shrieked a woman's voice. Hermione ducked as a white flash skimmed the top of her head.  
  
"Excaeco" the curse hit the woman in the face, she dropped her wand and desperately grasped at her eyes, which had started to produce a yellow puss that started eating the mask that covered the woman's face  
  
"She's upstairs" came a voice from behind her. A large hand wrapped itself around her hair and pulled her up into a standing position. Letting out a cry pain she reflexively pointed her wand behind her head and screamed "Stupefy". The offending hand let go, but not before its partner extracted its revenge by striking her on the side of her temple.  
  
The force of the strike sent her flying sideways down three steps which connected to the upstairs passageway. She banged against the opposite wall which ricocheted her headfirst into the banister. _'That's going to leave a mark'_ Hermione absently noted as the offending wood connected with her skull. Bringing her hands to her head, she continued her awkward journey down the assaulting staircase.  
  
Smashing her face against the hard wooden steps, Hermione attempted unsuccessfully to stop her ungraceful descent. Finally she landed face down on the polished floor of the foyer, she wincing as she felt a trickle down the back of her head. Opening her eyes, she was greeted by a pair of highly polished black boots.  
  
"Miss Granger" said the voice behind the mask, two grey eyes observed her with cold disdain.  
  
"Malfoy" Hermione gasped as she struggled to her feet. A wand was pointed lazily at her throat as she attempted to stand, the pain in her side making her gasp for breath.  
  
"Tut, tut, what a predicament you are in my dear," purred Malfoy, sarcasm and malice lacing his softly spoken words.  
  
He allowed his eyes to roam her body, lingering on the obvious. "Interesting, you have developed some what since our last encounter." Hermione's neck flushed but she met his gaze with cold anger.  
  
"Too bad you reek of your heritage, otherwise your person might have been of some interest," taunted Malfoy; as he moved forward his nostrils flaring, his eyes moving to her lips.  
  
Hermione lunged forward grabbing his robes and planted her lips on his mouth. Startled, Malfoy pulled back; and Hermione placed a well aimed knee hard into his groin. "AAAGGH" screamed Malfoy dropping to his knees.  
  
Hermione pushed pass the human ball. She grabbed her black cloak off the hook and threw it around her shoulders "Crookshanks!!" screeched Hermione. A ginger streak raced down the stairs and landed heavily into her arms.  
  
Frantic Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated "Don't get splinched, don't get splinched." Malfoy turned, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Pointing his wand at the girl he gasped out a curse, a flash of blue light hit the wall where Hermoine had moments before stood.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
**More Authors notes:**  
  
**Occidio: **is Latin for to stop or fall down  
  
(Hence character turning blue and clutching at his chest, she stopped his heart) Don't worry he is not dead, the spells temporary.  
  
**Excaeco:** is a Latin Inflicted word meaning to make blind  
  
(I know if you type in most translators it doesn't come up, ill point you to the one that includes inflicted words if you want.... Email me and ill send the link)  
  
My wonderful beta has told me Hermione's birthday is on the 19th of September so for the sake of my story Hermione at the moment is fifteen she will turn sixteen in September. Nothing sexual happens before then, if her being sixteen when story progresses bothers you ...... well tuff is my story and if you want to read it that's her age. If you want to flame me fine.......  
  
Okay to all the Honeys that reviewed me first and second time round when I was without a beta....(climbs on chair and shouts) **"YOUR BABES!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU"**  
  
Hands a chocolate cookie to Flashlady and munches on one herself.....back to spell checking. 


	2. Roaring Thunder

**Authors note:**  
  
As I have been asked to try and make my chapters longer I have done my best to fill that quota. I hope you enjoy!  
  
Thank you to all that have reviewed!  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
**Roaring Thunder**  
  
Hermione stumbled and landed on her knees clutching Crookshanks closely to her chest. Mentally she checked that she still had all her attached limbs in one place. Cautiously she peeked one of her eyes open.  
  
She was rewarded with the sight of the Three Broomsticks. Standing up, she dashed forward and started banging on the wooden door like a woman possessed, screaming at the top of her lungs.  
  
"SOMEBODY HELP ME, DEATH EATERS!!!, PLEASE... SOMEBODY," Hermione screeched. Tears involuntary began falling down her face. A woman pulled the door open and pointed her wand at Hermione.  
  
"WHAT... in the name of Merlin is going on?" asked the woman, her face a turning a shade of green as she recognized the shaking girl in front of her.  
  
"Death Eaters, my parents, tried too.....but got away," sobbed the girl before collapsing into older woman's arms.  
  
"ALBERT!! Get Dumbledore... Floo-Him-Now!" Rosmerta cried aloud as she cradled the frantic young woman to her chest and steered her towards the fireplace.  
  
The man looked from the face of the hysterical girl to Rosmerta. Grasping a handful of powder, he crouched in front of the fire, sticking his head in the flames he announced "Hogwarts".  
  
"Professor Dumbledore, sir? It's Albert, here at the Three Broomsticks. I'm sorry to bother you this late, sir... but we've a bit of an emergency... That girl... who hangs around Harry Potter... She's here, hurt pretty bad ... near broke down our door screaming about Death Eaters..." he explained through the Floo connection.  
  
"Sir? Why, yes... sir. I'll let them know, right away," Albert continued, and turned to the to face the two women.  
  
"He says he's sending through one of the professors to collect her..." he started, but was cut off as the fire flared in a flash of green flames.  
  
Professor Snape strode out of the fireplace, his eyes blazing. Immediately he located the shaking girl in the woman's arms. Hermione turned her face desperately towards the professor.  
  
"Step away!" his cold voice ordered.  
  
Crookshanks sprang from her arms seconds before Hermione was hit with a full body bind.  
  
"What's the meaning of this?" demanded the woman, rushing forward to prevent Hermione crashing to the floor.  
  
"Get of my way you impertinent fool!" snarled Snape as he reached into his robes and pulled out a teacup. Stretching out, he placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. She managed to register a yelp of pain, seconds before the Portkey gave a familiar tug behind her navel.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Hermione's body smacked onto the carpeted floor. _'Well at least the carpet's softer than the bloody stairs,'_ she fumed silently.  
  
Snape's hands started tugging at the hissing, spitting cat that was clawing his back, neck, and head.  
  
"Get this flea-bag off of me"  
  
There was a murmur followed by a snarl as Crookshanks was detached from Snape's back.  
  
"Severus! Was that really necessary?" McGonagall demanded as she pried the cat from the layers of black cloth and skin.  
  
"Yes," Snape spat as the last of the claws were removed from his person. He strode back to Hermione, her cinnamon eyes spitting fire. Crouching down he released the bind from her mouth. Before she had an opportunity to flay him alive however, a colorless liquid was forced into her mouth.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Hermione Jane Granger"  
  
"How did you get those injuries?"  
  
"Fell down the bloody stairs!" she snarled, fighting the daze that threatened to engulf her as a result of the potion.  
  
Snape lifted a sardonic eyebrow.  
  
"Really?" drawled Snape, pursing his lips and folding his arms.  
  
"Yes" spat Hermione though clenched teeth. _'Do you really need to ask moronic questions?'_ she thought to herself.  
  
"How did you escape?" he asked, eyes narrowing dangerously.  
  
"I cursed three Death Eaters," said Hermione  
  
"The third one hit me and sent me flying down stairs... I then kneed Malfoy in the balls and Apparated," she continued through gritted teeth. The pain in Hermione's side was starting to make an un-welcomed reappearance._ 'So much for the frigging cavalry...' _she spitefully thought.  
  
"How did you manage to Apparate?" Snape asked as he glared at her through suspicious eyes; his eyebrow had not yet descended from its perch halfway up his forehead.  
  
"I've read about it," Hermione stated through her still clenched teeth, angry tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.  
  
"Well now, Miss Granger, why does that not fail to surprise me?" came the retort, a look of amusement mixed with something else flashed across the Potion Master's features.  
  
"Enough!" sounded a voice.  
  
Snape's head turned towards the desk, he lowered his eyebrow and frowned, "Albus are you sure?"  
  
"Release her" came the soft reply.  
  
Hermione felt the bind release itself. With startling speed she kicked the crouching Snape in the face, sending him flying backwards. Within seconds she was on her feet and had placed a flat-palmed slap across his shocked face.  
  
"YOU... INSUFFABLE, OVERGROWN, DINGBAT!"  
  
"HOW DARE YOU!"  
  
"DO – I - LOOK – LIKE - A - DEATH EATER? YOU - YOU, HOOKED NOSE BEADY EYED..."  
  
She raised her hand to continue her onslaught, but a strong wiry hand prevented its forward motion. As she looked up to find the offender her eyes met with the sad, apologetic ones of Albus Dumbledore.  
  
"Minerva... please take Miss Granger to the Hospital wing," said Dumbledore.  
  
"Professor?" she croaked turning her battered face from the Headmaster to her Head of House. The tears released themselves; Hermione dropped her arm and was pulled into a warm embrace by her head of house.  
  
Minerva steered the shaking girl out of the Headmasters office and quietly closed the door.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Dumbledore let out a long breath. "Well that was a surprise," he mumbled to himself as he strode over to Snape who was currently occupying the floor. Offering the stunned man a hand, his offer was declined as the surly professor rose to his feet, clutching his jaw.  
  
"Well at least she's alive. Frankly I'm surprised he gave her, the opportunity to escape," mused the Headmaster as he turned and paced towards his desk.  
  
Dumbledore snapped out of his musings and peered over the top of his moon shaped glasses and stared intently at Snape. He was probably one of the few that could hold the Potions Master's gaze without wilting.  
  
"Forgive me, Severus." Dumbledore pulled out his wand and with a few carefully chosen words and a couple of flicks, the swelling on the Professor's face reduced. Leaving a faint outline of a blue-black bruise that was developing along his jawbone, which seemed to clash rather horribly with the red imprint left upon his cheek.  
  
Snape moved his jaw back and forth a few times. There was a coppery taste in his mouth from were he had bitten his tongue.  
  
He grimaced. "Well, taking into consideration her actions during the last few minutes, I seriously doubt that anyone was given an option in the matter," he said, tentatively rubbing his jaw.  
  
"Yes, that was quite unexpected. I'm surprised after the evening she has had, and yet she was still capable of attacking you... hmmm" Dumbledore said thoughtfully as he stroked his brilliant white beard. "Interesting," a slow smile started tug at the corners of his mouth.  
  
"Only to those not on the receiving end," commented Snape dryly, a scowl forming on his face.  
  
"Is that all you need Albus, or will my other methods of interrogation be required this evening?"  
  
"No Severus, I'm quite certain the Truth Serum was effective and if Polyjuice was used, we will see the effects within the hour."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to use Legilimency to check?" asked Snape softly, resignation and weariness were prominent in his tone.  
  
"No, that won't be required. After Poppy's seen to Miss Granger's injuries, the situation will need to be explained. I can't risk one of my Prefects hexing my Potions Master into oblivion," Albus replied, the sparkle returning to the Headmaster's eyes for the first time this evening.  
  
"Though, I expect that would be a sight to witness..."  
  
"Perhaps you could sell tickets Albus, no doubt the student body would find it as amusing as you do," said Snape disdainfully, pursing his lips and folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"Well, we will need to make arrangements for her continued care, due to her circumstances a Muggle orphanage is out of the question," continued Dumbledore, the twinkle in his eyes disappearing. "She will not be able to go to the Headquarters until her memories have been checked of course. Could a Memory Charm have been cast on her?"  
  
"Unlikely, through not impossible. Normally she would have been interrogated... her mind would have been Obliviated afterwards to make her forget the interrogation; if that charm was cast." Snape stated flatly, bringing a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and winching.  
  
Nodding, Dumbledore rose from his desk and escorted the Professor out of his office and down the spiral staircase. The Professors parted ways, Snape to the left to his dungeons for some healing balm and Dumbledore to the right towards the Hospital wing.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Hermione dutifully sat down on the bed, eyes staring at nothing, tears still running unchecked down her face.  
  
"I'm so sorry child," said the professor, as she gently pulled Hermione into an embrace and stroked her hair.  
  
Hermione felt numb. Less than two hours ago she had been lying in her bed thinking about sleep. And now she was limply lying in her Head of House's arms and being rocked back and forth.  
  
_'Why?'_ screamed a silent voice in her head, as the tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.  
  
_'Aha,'_ another voice answered.  
  
_'You know why, You knew that it was only a matter of time before they came after you. You knew this; that's why you've spent all that time preparing. And what for, to fail miserably? You couldn't even save them!'_ screamed the inner voice.  
  
A shudder ran through Hermione and she pulled out of the embrace. Standing shakily she marched herself to the bathroom opposite her bed, and proceeded to empty her stomach.  
  
Watching the young girl close the door, Professor McGonagall felt the rage of the young woman's loss course through her veins. Sighing, she wanted to stay but unfortunately there were preparations needing to be made. Standing, she nodded to Poppy who appeared with screens to surround the bed.  
  
"Miss Granger is in the bathroom, I'll return as soon as possible." With that she turned and headed out of the Hospital wing.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Hermione placed her head on her wrist, as the last of the tremors subsided. She needed to get up. Slowly getting to her knees she grasped the toilet for support. Carefully turning, she clutched for the sink, and began washing her face.  
  
A light rap sounded on the door. Madam Pomfrey appeared in the doorway, her arms loaded with towels and potion bottles. "Miss Granger, would you please come outside so I can tend to your injuries?" Her eyes where sympathetic, but her tone brooked no argument.  
  
Hermione turned to follow, but as she turned her knees gave away. Losing her grip, Hermione felt herself sliding into a pool of darkness.   
  
"Oh crap!" was Poppy's exclamation as she watched the young girl's eyes roll into the back of her head. Reacting quickly, Poppy released one hand and shook the wand from her sleeve. Catching it in her hand, she prevented further damaged to her patient by casting a Levitation Charm.  
  
Still carrying the towels, Madam Pomfrey marched back to the hospital bed followed by the floating body of Hermione. Placing the towels and the bottles on trolley next to the bed, she turned to face unconscious Hermione.  
  
"Couldn't you have least waited till we got you on the bed before passing out?" grumbled the older witch.  
  
She hovered her onto the bed, and began examining the young girl's injuries. There were several bruises developing along her face and jaw, which were in the middle of turning a rather lovely shade of purple. Whispering an Anti-swelling Charm, she turned the young girl's head and proceeded to tend to the abrasions on her face and the laceration located at the back of her head.  
  
"Well, at least you put up a fight!" declared Madam Pomfrey as she cleaned the cut and cast yet another Anti-swelling Charm.  
  
She began undoing the clasps on the cloak and was surprised to find that Hermione wore only a pair of black silk French boxers. Casting a Diagnostic Charm, she revealed four broken ribs, three broken fingers and a sprained ankle. "Well thank goodness most of its superficial," commented the Nurse as she continued her ministrations.  
  
Madam Pomfrey stood back to consider the young woman. No longer waif like, her body had developed the fullness and elegance of womanhood. Her face had lost the roundness of youth and her cheekbones had become more refined. Hermione's mouth, instead of appearing to pout, appeared sensual and provocative. Her neck was long, bordered by shoulders that were soft and curved.  
  
Her breasts where high and full, the nipples a dark rose that matched the colour of her lips. Her stomach was long and flat, hips curved, followed by surprisingly strong and well-toned legs. So similar yet different from the young girl that appeared in the hospital a few years ago as rather fetching cat.  
  
Summoning a gown, Madam Pomfrey placed Hermione's arms in and turned her to her side to close the straps. She was greeted by pink writing on the back of Hermione's boxers. Turning her head to the side she stopped to read the bright pink writing.  
  
'BITE ME!'  
  
Pursing her lips and attempting to hold back a smile, she pulled the blanket up to the girl's chin.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Dumbledore walked into the hospital wing just as Madam Pomfrey appeared from behind the screens.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Mostly superficial wounds. A couple of broken bones, slight concussion; nothing life threatening!" stated Madam Pomfrey as she sorted the screens.  
  
"What happened to her?" the nurse asked, the lines around the her mouth deepened.  
  
"Death Eater attack!" stated Dumbledore, his eyes flashing angrily.  
  
."Why is she not dead?" asked the nurse, her face becoming taunt and drawn.  
  
"Well it seems Miss Granger had other ideas, from what we can tell she escaped relatively unharmed," the Headmaster reported.  
  
"Lucky girl!" she said, casting her eyes back to the screen.  
  
"Her parents?"  
  
"Dead..." whispered Dumbledore.  
  
"Anyone else hurt?"  
  
"Only Severus," came the reply, the twinkle reappearing in the old mans eyes.  
  
"Severus?" the nursed asked, giving Dumbledore a confused look.  
  
"Ah yes, it seems that our Miss Granger was not too impressed with his methods of rescue."  
  
"What did he do?" the nurse frowned and gave the old man a concerned glance.  
  
"He put her in a full body bind!" he replied, the corners of his mouth twitching.  
  
The eyebrows of the nurse ascended into her hairline, and she let loose a rather rude exclamation.  
  
"Well Miss Granger was furious with this treatment of course, so when he released her, she... extracted her revenge," he replied.  
  
"What did she do?" the nurse was torn between the desire to giggle and the need to scold the Headmaster for looking so amused.  
  
"Attacked him... I believe Severus is using some of that healing ointment he brewed earlier as we speak," he said, a rather mischievous smile playing on his mouth.  
  
Shaking her head, Madam Pomfrey led Dumbledore to her office, the image of an enraged Miss Granger clobbering the unflappable Potions Master still floating around in her mind.  
  
"What needs to be done?" she asked as she offered the Headmaster a seat.  
  
Dumbledore's eyes became clouded. "Her memory must be checked before we can issue her with quarters. Severus actions will need to be explained of course, and perhaps..." he began, stroking his chin.  
  
"Although she may be ...capable... no... she's far too young to consider that....but what if?" he mused to himself. The Headmaster suddenly rose and brought his attention back to the nurse. "I'll return in the morning to discuss the situation with Miss Granger," he said and began to walk towards the door.  
  
"It's starting again," declared the nurse softly, as a treacherous tear escaped her eye.  
  
Dumbledore stopped and turned to the woman. Peering over the rim of his half moon glasses he gave the only comfort he could, "The most important step for us now Poppy, is the Next One!"  
  
Holding her eyes for a moment he then swept out the office, the tapping of his boots sounding off the cold stones.  
  
The nurse wiped the stray tear from her face and began busying her self with paper work. As she lifted the quill to start recording the incident, the words of Hermione's French boxers flashed into her head.  
  
_'Bite me!'_  
  
'Well done Miss Granger!' she thought to herself, sighing she began her notes.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
**More Authors notes:**  
  
A massive thank you to **Miss Flashladyb** with out her help, support and encouragement, this piece would have been filed under bin. 


	3. Tornado

**Chapter 3**  
  
**Authors Notes:**  
  
A big thank you to **Mystril,** who beta-ed this chapter and gave me some very insightful comments on my story flow. As well as pointed out my rather amusing misspelling of Snape's robes.  
  
A thank you to **Estrilda** who was kind enough to send a note of mistakes that I missed.  
  
A hug **Elosia** who has supported me and proved much needed humor in times stress.  
  
Lastly thank you to all that have reviewed!  
  
**Disclaimer  
**  
It's not mine you know its not!  
  
The poetry and this particular plot and flow does, anyone that wants to use the poetry please ask. Anyone that likes the plot or flow, Hey its fanfiction! Tuck in, just give me a shout in the somewhere in the disclaimer or authors notes. (And email me the story link!)  
  
**Tears  
**  
"Don't cry for the dead, but cry for the damned. Wed to their sorrow, they await pains command. Bound to its chains, which they silently fight. The promise of freedom holds no delight.  
  
This elusive joy is but a foreign affair, For what is its good, if you cannot share. For what is left when the sorrow is gone, But a shadow, upon a plane which, doesn't belong."  
  
Extracts from 'Tears' by Moira Helen Lawson, March 2004  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
**Tornado**  
  
The sun crept into the ward, the rays dancing upon the stone floor; each golden streak trying to outreach its counterpart. The young woman that lay upon the hospital bed turned on to her back, the bed springs creaking in protest. Her dark locks crowned her head in a rather tangled halo of curls. The rapid eye movement stopped and the rhythm of her breathing changed, but still the woman did not open her eyes to indicate she was awake.  
  
_'Maybe if I keep my eyes closed it won't be real,'_ thought Hermione to herself. The dread and pain in her body chasing away the last threads of sleep.  
  
_'I can pretend that when I open my eyes all I have to do is go back and study Les Charms Dangereux ... Mum will be cooking breakfast, and Dad will do his terrible version of "I like to Boogie" in the shower, it wont be real.'  
_  
_'But Hermione, if that was the case you would never get up,'_ a soft voice of sensibility pointed out.  
  
_'Too bad all that sensibility didn't save them,' her inner critic taunted,  
  
'At the end of the day Hermione you're a nothing but a pathetic failure.'  
  
'You could have protected them!'  
  
'You should have been prepared!'  
_  
_'I tried! I thought...the Ministry...the Order... Dumbledore could protect them! I thought they were safe!'_ her heart screamed, a dry sob escaped her throat.  
  
_'Ah and what did you think would happen Hermione?'_ sneered the voice,  
  
_'That they would leave you... forget about the filthy Mudblood that was friends with the infamous Harry Potter?'_ the voice asked, its sense and reason cutting her to the core.  
  
_'What made you think it wouldn't be your family? Why not? They are nothing more than Muggles.'  
_  
_'Ha ...And to think the brightest witch this century couldn't see this coming, you need to start thinking Hermione... or else you will die,'_ the voice flatly stated.  
  
_'ENOUGH!'_ Hermione told herself. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she tried to stop grief's waves consuming her. Digging her nails into her palms, she attempted to contain the pain that traveled up from her stomach, filling up her throat making her feel sick and empty.  
  
'Get a grip Girl! Stop whimpering and figure out what you are going to do!'  
  
Hermione unclenched her fists, leaving bloody tracks on her palms. Letting out a shuddering breath she opened her eyes.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
Dumbledore stepped into the Ward, the sound of his boots announcing his arrival. Locating Miss Granger in the cot she had been placed in the previous night. The girl's gaze didn't flicker from the roof, as the headmaster stepped around the screens and sat next to the hospital bed.  
  
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore inquired.  
  
The girl turned her face to the headmaster, but instead of looking at him she appeared to see through him. Her eyes eerily clear and dark, the depth of her angst was captured in grimace lines around her eyes, the rest of her face remained like stone.  
  
"Yes Sir?" the girl's voiced answered flatly.  
  
"You deserve an explanation for last night," Dumbledore began.  
  
"No, Sir, I don't," she interrupted.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Dumbledore looked at the girl in surprise.  
  
Letting out a shuddering breath she began to explain her reasoning, "I fully understand the reasons why Professor Snape acted as he did. Though I felt that his methods were unacceptable at the time, they were never less effective... I'm lucky he didn't kill me on the spot." she detachedly observed.  
  
Dumbledore opened his mouth, then finding himself at a lost for words, closed it. He had expected tears, ranting and perhaps the anger that followed the loss of loved ones. But not this, the girl was completely objective. Sighing, he decided to get straight to the point.  
  
"There are things that will need to be done, Miss Granger. Before it will be safe to return you to the Headquarters. Do you understand the implications of this?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Yes Headmaster, I do have one request?" she asked.  
  
"Yes?" enquired Dumbledore, tilting his head to indicate that she should continue.  
  
"I would prefer to have my memories checked with a Pensieve. Legilimency makes the person relive memories and, I can't yet," she hesitated. "I need more time." she said holding the Headmaster's gaze, her pain and grief making her normally sparkling brown eyes haunted.  
  
"I don't forgive you for allowing Professor Snape to bind me and administer the Truth Serum, but I accept you needed to do it, to protect the Order and to ensure I was who I claimed to be" she continued in the unwavering voice.  
  
Dumbledore blinked, his facial expression giving none of his thoughts away, his attention remained completely focused on the young woman that lay before him. '_They were going to need to be careful around the perceptive abilities of the astute Miss Granger,'_ he silently noted.  
  
"Well I shall summon Professor Snape, and we will see the contents of the Pensieve....should we be satisfied with that we will leave the matter there... if not... I cannot promise that other methods will not be used Miss Granger," said Dumbledore.  
  
"That's reasonable Headmaster... I do have one more request to make.With regard, to Professor Snape" Dumbledore felt the hairs at the back of his neck rise.  
  
"Yes?" the lines around the old mans mouth tightened, there was a cut in the enquiry that suggested caution.  
  
"Could you please inform him that that was the first, -- and last time -- that he should ever consider using a Body Bind on me!" her tone wasn't threatening, it sounded only resolved.  
  
'Interesting,' thought Dumbledore, giving her a tight smile he peered over the top of his moon-shaped glasses.  
  
"Indeed Miss Granger I shall convey the message. But I feel that I should also warn you that though your behavior was understandable yesterday, I will not allow a repetition of an attack on his person...forget not who he is." giving her a stern look, Dumbledore rose and came towards the bed.  
  
Dumbledore gave her hand a squeeze and considered the young woman for a moment, his face softening "Miss Granger, we all feel for your loss, but remember that it's in these most terrible situations that we find our greatest strengths." his eyes sparkled with an deep emotion as he regarded her.  
  
Releasing her hand and giving her a nod, Dumbledore turned and strode out of the Ward.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
_'Infernal brats!'_ Snape savagely thought as he stomped down to the dungeons, robes billowing behind him. Reaching the entrance to his quarters, Snape checked up and down the corridor.  
  
Appearing satisfied, he extended one finger and ran it down the middle of the wall; a dark red circle appeared in the centre. Placing his left hand in the centre of the circle, he placed his forehead against the stone and whispered "Sacer". The sound caused the wall to quiver; pushing forward Snape felt himself pass through.  
  
Opening his eyes he was greeted by his rooms, a single worn chair faced the fire. One wall was stacked with books, parchment and scrolls, opposite this was the standard double four poster bed decked in black. Next to the bed was a square trunk with assortment of various different instruments placed on it, above it was a Foe glass and what looked like a chipped piece of mirror.  
  
The wall to his left was covered in shelves which contained bottles of various shapes, colours, and sizes. Picking up a blue jar he unscrewed it and rubbed some of the clear salve into his scratches and jaw line. Screwing the lid back on, he placed it back on the shelf.  
  
Sighing, he turned right to the only other door that was present in the room, pushing it open. He stepped into the bathroom, to his right was a large built in cupboard and a wooden chair. The rest of the bathroom consisted of a toilet, sink, and shower corner with waist high clear screens.  
  
Removing his neck scarf and teaching robes, he placed them on the chair. He began unbuttoning his frock coat. Once that hung lose he unclasped the inner hooks of the robes. Removing the final piece of clothing, Snape opened the heavy wooden door and selected his long grey nightshirt.  
  
Catching his reflection in the mirror located on the door, Snape paused to look at himself.  
  
A tall dark haired man stared back, his skin deathly pale; not unlike porcelain in appearance. Shoulders square and angular, followed by a long torso, narrow hips and lean legs. The muscles of the body had definition, but lacked depth and tone due to the colouring of the skin. Along his body ran a cascade of scars that varied in length and depth, the patterns continuing from his neck down; 'Trophies' from his 'Father's' and Messrs Potter & Black attentions.  
  
Disgusted Snape slammed the wardrobe door closed, pulling the nightshirt over his head. He made his way back towards the bed, the springs creaking as he climbed into it. Drawing the thick black comforter over his shoulders he turned his head and considered the situation that they were now faced with.  
  
With Granger's parents now dead, they would have another emotionally vengeful teenager to cope with. _'The young causalities of war, unfortunately, easily became the wasted dead of tomorrow,'_ he sadly mused.  
  
_'How Granger would cope? What would her reaction be... Who would she blame... the ministry, Dumbledore, the Order, the Dark Lord himself? What would her reaction to him be when he was summoned tomorrow?'_ All these questions floated in his mind, chasing away sleep as he tried to come up with solutions to each scenario that flashed passed.  
  
Snape rolled onto his back, his eyes glittering darkly, 'Another student who would have to be protected and watched closely.' It felt never ending, desperately trying to protect what he cared about. Never receiving the recognition or respect that he warranted and deserved, and always being the hated party whatever the out come.  
  
Snape let loose a heavy sigh; it didn't bother him as much now as it did when he was younger. _'Expect the worst, trust yourself, and hope the world will change!' _was the motto that he adopted and applied to each situation he was faced with. The detachment was a close friend that he had acquired through years of... experience.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Hermione slowly made her way towards the Headmasters office, the black cloak was tightly wrapped around her body. Beneath the heavy black cloak she still wore the gown and a borrowed pair of hospital slippers. The gargoyle allowed her immediate access, regarding her with sympathetic eyes.  
  
She climbed the spiral staircase then cautiously knocked on the half opened office door. Entering she was immediately faced with a table and three chairs, on the table was a blue stone pensive.  
  
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked softy.  
  
She turned and was faced with the Headmaster, his eyes observed her appearance. She was deathly pale, but her eyes were clear and her mouth was set in a firm line.  
  
"Headmaster." she acknowledged with a tilt of her head.  
  
"Before we begin, I must ask you for your wand," he said.  
  
Panic appeared in the young woman's face.  
  
"It will be returned to you after, (he hesitated)...We have established the facts." he assured her.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Hermione swallowed and handed over the wand, her hand slightly trembling.  
  
"Where do you want me?" she asked, watching in trepidation as the headmaster placed her wand on his desk, then walked towards the table that held the stone Pensieve.  
  
"Over here," said Dumbledore as he lead her to the chairs and offered her the middle seat. he then walked over to the fire place. Taking a handful of powder he cast it into the fire.  
  
"Severus we are ready for you now," called the headmaster, stepping back from the fire.  
  
A moment later Snape stepped through the fire place. Hermione tensed but she forced the panic down, meeting his eyes she nodded her head once again in acknowledgement.  
  
"Professor Snape."  
  
"Miss Granger," Snape replied, looking at her coldly.  
  
Taking a seat opposite Dumbledore, he cast his gaze over her for a moment before turning attention to the Headmaster.  
  
"Severus, you will extract the memories and observe them. Should you be satisfied with what you see then we will discontinue the line of enquiry, if not then we will need to continue through another route," Dumbledore stated.  
  
Snape with drew his wand.  
  
"Do you understand and accept this, Miss Granger?" the headmaster asked, turning to face her.  
  
"Yes Sir," she nodded, then turned to the Snape and regarded him and his wand with suspicious eyes.  
  
"Miss Granger, I want you to close your eyes and bring the memories of last night to the front of your mind." instructed Snape.  
  
Hermione did as she was asked, fear swimming in her stomach.  
  
The Potions Master leaned forward, and with his wand gently moved aside a piece of hair that lay across her forehead; startled at the contact she reared back and her eyes flew open.  
  
"Calm down, Miss Granger" said the Headmaster softy as he lent forward and clasped his hand over her forearm. "Professor Snape is required to touch your forehead to remove the memories,"  
  
She darted her eyes from the Headmaster to Snape, reminding herself to breath she tried to will her hands to stop shaking.  
  
"Sorry Sir," she said lowering her eyes.  
  
"Perfectly understandable Miss Granger, I shall now continue," said Snape through clenched teeth.  
  
Extending his wand he once again placed the tip of it gently against her forehead, "Now, Concentrate," he ordered.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and willed forward the memories of the previous evening. She felt a rippling sensation as the wand was drawn away. Opening her eyes she was startled to see a silvery substance had been placed into the Pensieve, she was even more shocked to note that she could not remember a single detail from the previous night.  
  
Snape leaned forward, placing his head into the Pensieve, gently allowing himself to get drawn in.  
  
"Now Miss Granger, we wait" said the Headmaster as he lent back and placed the tips of his fingers together.  
  
Hermione nodded and stared blankly at the Pensieve which Snape's body was currently crouched over.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
Snape felt himself falling through cold blackness, he began to spin then.  
  
He found himself standing in Hermione's bedroom.  
  
Miss Granger was currently snoring softly, crouched over a small writing desk, her face pressed against the book she had been studying; dark shadows masked the young girl's face.  
  
Snape looked around the room, it was quite plain. The walls were covered in astronomy charts, each showing the different kinds of stars and their locations. There were books piled next to the bed, and a chair that was currently occupied by a rather large ugly ginger cat.  
  
There was a flash of lightning, the cat glared at the window and moved onto the bed, not soon after there was a rumble of thunder. He watched Miss Granger groan, peak one eye open, and lift her head. The side of her face had the book pattern displayed on it.  
  
The young girl's eyes rolled closed again, and she narrowly missed a bowl of what looked to be soup.  
  
"This is becoming ridiculous!" she groaned as she jerked awake.  
  
Snape felt his lips curl at the antics of the young woman; he watched her attempt to continue the study of the book in front of her. Her head was rolling, her whole posture screamed exhaustion yet still she attempted to continue on.  
  
After a few more fruitless attempts she gave up. Snapping the book shut, she rose from the chair and made her way over to the light switch and flicked it off. She then began removing her clothes; though it was dark Hermione's form was still silhouetted against the moon light.  
  
Snape averted his eyes, having no desire to watch the young woman undress. His eyes darted around the room, looking for signs of irregularity or shifting in the memory.  
  
He heard her groan the bones in her back creaking; he turned back towards her assuming she had finished her changing. Snape was shocked when he found that he had been provided with a full frontal view of the girl's assets. Combined with the arch back and the groaning, it was rather a sensational sight.  
  
Clearing his throat he abruptly observed the floor, hating the fact that there was a blush creeping into his cheeks. _'For Merlin's sake doesn't the girl wear bed clothes?'  
_  
"I know, I know! I should have been in bed hours ago but that there is a charm that causes unbearable itching and causes blue smoke to fume at the ears, and it has this complex wrist jab" Hermione's voice continued.  
  
Snape let out a snort, but did not lift his eyes from the floor. _'Miss Granger explaining charms to a cat. Now I have seen everything.'_ Stopping that train of thought, he mentally kicked himself.  
  
_'What a wonderful choice of words, Severus.'_  
  
The bed shifted as Miss Granger climbed into it; Snape lifted his eyes only when he was sure there was no more movement. He then lifted his head and began to observe the girl.  
  
Face unguarded, the tension lines no longer decked her young face. Their absence made her look innocent, perhaps even slightly angelic; long hair which was nearly waist length fell across the pillow, a dark contrast compared to the skin. Her lips were slightly parted. Snape's breathing hitched when she licked them and swallowed before settling into sleep.  
  
_'Sweet Circe,'_ he exclaimed to himself, _'was there no end to the ways that this girl could unintentionally fluster him?'  
_  
The fates unfortunately must have heard and decided to mock him, for at that moment Hermione decide to turn to her side. Pulling the covers to her chest, she exposed the length of her back and the crease of her right breast. Her leg was bare to the thigh, the blanket only covering her rear from view.  
  
Snape's mouth went dry; swiftly turning around to face the door, he began taking a mental store check of his cupboard.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
He didn't have long to wait, before there was a crash that startled Hermione from her slumber. Turning back, he watched the girl spring from her bed and grasp her wand.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!" a man's voice roared, followed by a flash of green light and a woman's scream...then silence. Horror flashed across the young girls face.  
  
"MUM! DAD!!" she roared rushing forward along the short passageway towards her parent's bedroom. The door was flung open and two figures appeared wearing masks and long dark cloaks.  
  
Snape moved forward watching with detached interest as Hermione hit the first Death Eater with a "Occido" curse.  
  
_'Where did she learn that?'_ mused Snape.  
  
Ducking she avoided a flash of white light as it flew pass her head. Hitting the second Death Eater with an "Excaeo"  
  
_'Impressive,'_ he noted.  
  
The third Death Eater grabbed her hair from behind, "She's upstairs," he shouted as he pulled her to her feet. Then proceed to whacked her across the side of the face. A moment later he, too, was hit with a curse.  
  
Snape watched as the force of the assault sent Hermione down first small flight of stairs. Losing her balance, she bounced off the wall and ricocheted into the banister, then down the remainder of stairs. Her hands desperately clutched her head as she tried to prevent further injury.  
  
Following her down the stairs, Snape was met with the unpleasant sight of Lucius Malfoy. Who waited till Miss Granger opened her eyes, before lazily pointing his wand under her chin and forcing her to stand up.  
  
"Malfoy," Hermione gasped as she attempted to stand, clutching her side and gasping for breath.  
  
"Tut, tut, what a predicament you are in my dear," he purred, sarcasm and malice lacing his softly spoken words.  
  
Malfoy's eyes began to roam the young woman's body, lingering on the obvious.  
  
"Interesting, you have developed somewhat since our last encounter." Hermione's neck flushed but she met his gaze with cold anger.  
  
Snape clenched his fists, anger began twisting in his gut.  
  
"Too bad you reek of your heritage, otherwise your person might have been of some interest," taunted Malfoy; as he moved forward his nostrils flaring, his eyes moving to her lips.  
  
_'You dirty vile piece of...'_ fumed the Professor silently, desperately wishing that he could strangle the blond wizard's neck. He watched helpless as Malfoy leaned towards Hermione, his nostrils flared, the cold grey eyes glittering with sadistic pleasure.  
  
Hermione's next actions sent Snape's eyebrows straight into his hairline in shock; as she kissed Lucius then swiftly attempted to rob Draco of any siblings.  
  
Hermione climbed over Malfoy, who was lying on the floor crutching his groin.  
  
Grabbing her black cloak off the hook and throwing it around her shoulders, she frantically looked around. "Crookshanks!!" she screeched; a ginger streak raced down the stairs and landed heavily in her arms.  
  
The last thing he saw was Hermione closing her eyes and muttering to herself. "Don't get splinched, don't get splinched." He turned back to Malfoy, who was staring at Hermione with utmost loathing, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.  
  
The mist began to swirl and Snape felt himself lift out of the pensive and land back on his feet in the Dumbledore's office.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
Opening his eyes, Snape gathered himself then turned to the Headmaster.  
  
"Well?" asked the Headmaster concern evident in his voice.  
  
"I see no evidence of modification or any other form curse being used to suppress memories, nor did I find any sign or attempt of forced removal." stated Snape, deliberately keeping his tone flat and emotionless.  
  
The Headmaster let out a sound of relief, giving Snape short nod and then looking at Hermione.  
  
Snape withdrew his wand, and picked up the slivery substance from the Pensieve. Placing it again against Hermione's forehead, she closed her eyes and felt a sucking sensation, the previous nights memories returned. Quickly pushing them to the back of her mind, she opened her eyes and turned back towards the headmaster.  
  
"Miss Granger you may now return to the Hospital Wing," said the Dumbledore softly, as he summoned the wand from his desk.  
  
"Yes Sir" said Hermione grasping the wand and tucking it into the sleeve of her cloak.  
  
"Severus, please escort Miss Granger back to the Hospital Wing. I need to contact the Ministry with regards to her welfare" stated Dumbledore. Nodding, Severus rose from the chair and indicated with a tilt of his head that she should follow him.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**  
  
It was a short walk from the Dumbledore's office to the Hospital Wing; Hermione's stomach twisted into knots as she attempted to keep up with Snape's long strides.  
  
Looking up at his face she could see that he was livid, the pulse at his temple worked furiously. He paused to look at her before letting her go into the Ward, his eyes glittered with anger and what might have been approval. But his next words made the latter emotion unlikely.  
  
"You were lucky, Miss Granger," he stated coldly.  
  
Hermione looked up at him in shock, her eyes searching his face; not really sure what she was looking for or even hoping to find.  
  
His facial expression didn't change, but inwardly Snape bristled under the young woman's gaze. Her eyes were searing into him, their depth and intensity awakening old memories. Mentally he shook himself, he couldn't offer sympathy and the Know-it-all most certainly wouldn't want his understanding. _'Who ever did?'_ asked a inner voice, the realization made his gut twist.  
  
It was time to put a stop to this staring contest, _'What does she expect, a tap on the head and fifty points to Gryffindor?'_ he thought bitterly.  
  
"I presume you don't need an escort to your cot?" Snape said sharply, pursing his lips and fixing her with a look of impatience.  
  
Hermione started, she had been lost in his features. She could have sworn she saw a flicker of ...recognition... perhaps? Unfortunately the sharpness of his voice and his look of irritation did not give her the opportunity to dwell on it.  
  
Without giving her time to reply, he abruptly turned and strode down the corridor.  
  
Hermione shook her head. Taking a breath, she attempted to take control of the rush of emotions that threatened to submerge her. 'What were you expecting Hermione? Snape to give you a big hug and say it will be okay?' her inner voice sneered.  
  
_'Insufferable Bastard,'_ she savagely thought as she entered the Hospital wing.  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o  
**  
**More Authors Notes:  
**  
**Sacer** -cra –crum = [sacred , holy, consecrated]; in bad sense, [accursed, devoted to destruction, horrible]. N. sing. as subst. sacrum -i, [a holy thing or place; a sacrifice or victim]; n. pl. [sacred rites, felt this would be a most appropriate password for Snape's domain, the word seems to embody the full range of emotions that he would mostly likely feel toward it.  
  
**Sacer** is not a common Latin word so I will be happy to supply my source direct should anyone wish to check.  
  
My personal response to Hermione's age has been dealt with in the reviews, any speculations or questions should be posted there or emailed directly to me.  
  
The inner turmoil of Hermione has been pulled from my own experience of death it is not intended as a rip off of anyone's fic. Grief is universal and therefore cannot be owned by a single person. There will be also a lot of delving into both Snape's and Hermiones thoughts, again this is my personal way of telling the story and not intended as a rip off.  
  
Should anyone feel the need to complain please do!  
  
Thank you for all your support! 


	4. Hailstones

**Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer** - Its not mine its JK Rowling's…

(The quirky terms of phrase, weird underwear and anything else that seems odd does belong to me.)

"…And who would have thought, if they looked in my eyes,  
that the soul that once lived here no longer resides.  
For sorrow has tarnished its once vivacious look,  
Pain its sparkle savagely took…

And try as I might the tears do not fall,   
For, I think the valleys have used them all.  
It's only the shuddering that does now remain,   
Its tremors my feeling's it quietly sustains…"

Extracts from the poem 'Tears' by Moira Helen Lawson  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**

**Hailstones**Hermione pushed the heavy wooden door open and stepped into the Hospital Wing; letting out an angry breath, she looked up and was relieved to find the rather disgruntled looking Crookshanks sniffing around her bed.

"Crook-shanks," she choked out, her lip beginning to wobble as the pain clutched her chest.

The ginger cat stopped in its investigation, lifted its head, and gave Hermione, an angry look. Then noticing the tears in his owner's eyes the cat sprang from the bed, and raced up to her.

Dropping to her knees Hermione caught the ginger fur ball, held him tightly, and buried her face into his fur. The cat gave a soft meow and began grooming her, making concerned noises as he tried to lick her bushy hair flat.

Hermione breathed the warm cat scent in, _'….he smells like home,'_ she thought to herself. The pain in her chest made it hard for her to breath; she wanted to scream but the lump in her throat didn't seem to want to let any noise through.

_'Why?'_ her inner self screamed, the inability to form any sound fuelling the anger and grief.

_'For God sake, Hermione, you have already had this conversation with yourself this morning!'_ the ever apparent sarcastic voice replied.

_'Now are you going to continue to decorate the floor, or are you going to get up and stop asking stupid questions?'_ it sneered.

_'It hurts!'_ she silently screamed back.

_'Yes it bloody well does! And it's entirely your own fault for not having the foresight to prepare. Oh wait, Hermione, you did prepare didn't you? No but you didn't act… the studious know it all… the failure that couldn't save her parents. Pah! You will end up just like them Granger… DEAD!'_ said the voice.

_'I WON'T!'_ she vehemently declared, as she tried to push the voice back, concentrating on making it stop hurting.

_'Oh….and what's the big bad, Hermione going to do? Snivel Voldemort to death? Oh no…don't tell us….wait… we know… you will tremble him to death. Yes, that's it, right, death by snot?'_ the voice spat.

_'How am I ever going to get through this?'_ she asked herself, clutching Crookshanks to her heart.

_'By getting your cold butt off this stone floor; and not strangling your cat to death, Hermione,'_ her inner voice answered again wearily.

_'I understand that!'_ she spat back at herself. _'But understanding it doesn't make emptiness stop… it doesn't numb the pain….it does nothing!!'_

_'It gives you the next step,'_ the voice quietly answered.

Sighing, Hermione released her grip on the poor cat, though in all honesty he didn't seem to have minded too much. Giving her a lick on the nose, Crookshanks sauntered over to the bed and climbed beneath the sheets; he looked over his shoulder and fixed her with a look that demanded that she join him.

Hermione removed her cloak and slippers; the weariness and fear from the interrogation had robbed the last her of energy. Silently she climbed into bed and took a deep breath; turning to her side she threw her arm around the cat. Closing her eyes she tried to picture her mother and father's arms around her. Chasing that memory Hermione fell asleep.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Snape walked briskly down the corridor that lead back to Dumbledore's office. Shivers played along the back of his neck and shoulders; unease was turning in his stomach.

Why had Granger's gaze unsettled him so?

The lines on the surly professor's face deepened, his lips thinned. He had witnessed many haunted features, hollow eyes, and tear stained faces. He had heard the screams of the victims, begging for the end of their torment, (his own included). What made this situation any different?

_'You're getting sentimental with age?'_ offered a sarcastic voice.

That made him snort, 'Ah, yes, Severus, if it wasn't for your wonderful sense of humour you would have been dead years ago!' he joylessly informed himself.

Shaking his head, he neared the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office, giving the creature a disdainful glare as he announced the password.

"Pearl drops!"  
  
**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Dumbledore was currently sitting in his armchair having a very heated conversation with the Minster of Magic. Snape paused at the entrance, waiting to be invited in rather than disrupt the conversation halfway through.

Dumbledore lifted his eyes from the head of Cornelius Fudge and glanced at Snape, giving him a slight nod to indicate that he could enter. The pleading voice of the Minister continued through the Floo connection; growing increasing more agitated as the conversation continued to steer itself in the opposite direction of where he trying to direct it.

"Dumbledore, you can't possibly suggest that she stay at Hogwarts… her situation could put other students at risk…and there is the cost that you need to consider. Remember that she has no guardian and she has no way of funding the rest of her schooling… she would be better in Muggle care," argued Fudge.

Snape quietly stepped into the room, his robes silently swirling around him as he inconspicuously positioned himself by the armchair, just out of the Ministers line of sight.

"No, Cornelius, the students are at risk because Voldemort is back. Miss Granger's predicament is a direct result of the Ministry not responding quickly enough to the situation it was faced with a year ago. Placing her in Muggle care would expose her further," Dumbledore replied, his eyes growing cold and hard as the Minister shifted uneasily in the fire.

"Dumbledore, we both know about the…misunderstandings that were had. But surely you don't blame the Ministry for this? We alerted the Aurors, the Dementors have been removed from Azkaban; there was not really much else we could do," continued Fudge, as the flames continued to dance around his ears.

_'You could have listened a year ago, you self serving, power hungry little maggot!'_ thought Snape, his eyes glittering darkly.

"Never less Minster, Miss Granger will continue her schooling here. I have contacted the officials responsible for her continued care. It has been decided that we will find a suitable person to act as Hermione's guardian until the time she does not require one," Dumbledore firmly stated.

"But Dumbledore…there is still the matter of her breaking the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, and the fact that she Apparated without a licence. Which, in itself, is completely unacceptable and…,"said Fudge, faltering at the look on Dumbledore's face.

"Her case falls under Clause Seven, Minster, and the fact she was able to successfully Apparate was a blind stroke of luck. This being the case, is there any need to take this discussion further?" Dumbledore flatly asked, a flash of annoyance appearing in his sparkling blue eyes.

The Minister looked thoroughly put out; he opened and closed his mouth attempt to find the words he was looking for, and after a moment he shook his head in defeat.

"…Fine! Dumbledore, do what you think is best for her, but if you want my advice she would be better off in Muggle care," declared Fudge sourly, before removing his head from the fireplace without the courtesy of a goodbye.

"Let me hex him," growled Snape softly. The arrogance and disrespect the Minister continued to treat the Headmaster with never failed in setting alight his anger.

The statement drew the Headmaster out of his thoughts. Looking at the surly professor he focused his mind back to the present, and began assessing the needs of the situation.

"Cornelius and his continual unfounded biases," complained Dumbledore, shaking his head in frustration.

"Dumbledore, Cornelius's asininity was venerable before he became Minister. Do you honestly expect that it would have improved with age?" asked Snape, as he stepped out of the shadows.

The corners of the Headmaster's lips quirked, "Severus, as always your assessments never fail to sum up the entire situation in the most creative way possible," chuckled Dumbledore.

"What actions are to be taken concerning Miss Granger?" Snape asked softly.

The Headmaster placed his long finger tips together and considered them for a long moment before answering. "Miss Granger's birthday is the nineteenth of September, and on that day she will officially be of legal age. Until then I will ask Minerva to act as her temporary guardian. As far as her finances are concerned, I have been in contact with the officials and they have informed me of her parent's will that puts the financial worries to rest. The accounts of her parents will all be moved to a vault in Gringotts; the property itself was destroyed."

Snape nodded. "That will be the best course of action. With the escape of the prisoners it will be dangerous to let anyone connected closely with Potter out with the grounds unsupervised." The Headmaster nodded in agreement at the veiled warning. Not lifting his glaze from his hands, that left him only one more issue to broach.

"The lines will need to be re-established Severus…."

Dumbledore looked at up at Snape sadly, "You know what I'm about to ask?"

"Of course!" was the clipped reply, as the Potions' Master's becoming icy and focused.

"You know that it has to be done," said Dumbledore softly, his eyes harbouring a silent apology.

Snape emitted an empty laugh, "Ah, and who better, than a subject that has had the most extensive…experience." he mockingly stated.

"I would take a different route if it was possible," said Dumbledore softly.

"It would not be as reliable nor as effective. There is no other way!" said Snape, feeling uncomfortable with the Headmaster's unexpected condolence.

"You have my support should you need ever feel the need to use it," Dumbledore softly remind him.

Snape's eyes became empty and hollow, "There will be no need, Headmaster! I'm more than adept at… coping." He gave the Headmaster a twisted smirk, "That's the reason I'm the one doing it," replied Snape softly.

The blue sparkling eyes held Snape's gaze, "You're the only one - capable, Severus." said Dumbledore his voice demonstrating the depth of his respect and appreciation.

Snape bowed his head and allowed the undercurrents of the statement to wash over him; needing the acknowledgement; yet, hating the reality that course of action would entail.

_'Pull yourself together Snivellus – the dragon awaits_.' With that self deprecating thought, Snape gave Dumbledore a short nod and exited the office.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Hermione was pulled out her light slumber by a hand placed gently on her shoulder. Giving a shriek she turned, withdrew her wand, and pointed it at the offender. She was presented with a startled McGonagall, who stepped back and gave Hermione a confused look.

"My apologies, Miss Granger, but there are some issues that need to be addressed." said McGonagall softy, her eyes full of pity.

Hermione blushed and lowered her wand, her hand trembling slightly as she let out a shaky breath. "Sorry, Professor,"

McGonagall shook her head and waved off the apology, taking a seat next to the hospital bed and placing her walking stick on the floor. "Miss Granger, due to your current circumstances we have been placed into a difficult situation. It's not the normal practise for one of the Professors to act as guardian to a …a student in need, but since your birthday is in a few weeks the individual would only have to act as a temporary guardian."

McGonagall drew herself up and lifted her eyes to meet Hermione's. "The Headmaster and I have discussed the situation, and we have agreed that I would act as your temporary care giver."

Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock. This was all moving too fast, they still had to plan a funeral. What about her parent's house… what about her belongings?' Hermione felt like she was on a train running at five hundred miles per hour, and she had somehow missed her stop.

"But what about my parents funeral?" she asked, her voice wobbling.

"Miss Granger, the Ministry sent officials out after… last night's incident. I'm very sorry, but there was nothing left," said McGonagall shakily, tears appearing at the corners of the old woman's eyes.

Hermione stared blankly at McGonagall. Inside she felt numb. _'Nothing left…there is nothing left…nothing,'_ the voice echoed around in her mind. Shaking her head she looked down at her clenched fists, as though expecting to find the blood. _'You should have protected them Hermione, you failure…Dead! It's your fault… nothing.'_

The older witch watched helpless as her best student's features went blank with grief. "Miss Granger, I'm sorry for your loss….I can only promise you that I'll do my best for you," said McGonagall determinedly. The old woman got up from her seat and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Hermione into her arms and holding her like a mother would.

"You're not alone, Hermione, please don't let this pull you under. Don't let him win!" whispered McGonagall passionately, hoping that her words would give some relief to the trembling girl in her arms.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

Hermione was perched on the edge of the bed, still sitting in the same position that Professor McGonagall had left her in. She hadn't responded to the Professor's words or gentle embrace; no… she had been too busy trying to get her normally effective brain to catch up with situation.

_'Why is she looking at me like that?'_ Hermione detachedly wondered, not really registering the pity, or understanding the finality that McGonagall's tone had held.

Before McGonagall left she spoke to Pomfrey, informing the nurse that Hermione was going to be currently residing at Hogwarts. The nurse had raised her eyebrows at this very unusual practise, but refrained from commenting. Knowing better than to ask questions, she had agreed to release Hermione after doing a final check.

"Miss Granger?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

Hermione didn't hear her. The previous evening's events were replaying in her head. The crash - her mother's scream - the Death Eaters in the doorway.

_'Nothing…Dead…Failure!'_ echoed around mercilessly in her ears; it was a dreadful soundtrack to accompany the images that were floating past her eyes.

"Miss Granger?" Pomfrey asked more loudly, as she approached Hermione's still form.

Hermione still didn't respond; the dancing images with they're frightful tune blocked out any sound.

"Miss Granger!" she stated finally, as she placed a gentle hand on Hermione's shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" Hermione shrieked as she started from the nurse's touch, frightening Crookshanks and causing him to jump off the bed.

Hermione stood wide eyed and shaking, as the astonished Madam Pomfrey lowered her hand and fixed her with a looked mixed with confusion and sympathy.

"Please…just don't touch me," Hermione choked out, her voice hoarse with the strain of keeping tears and tremors back. She looked at the floor and clenched her fists, her shoulders slightly shaking with the force of emotion she was trying to contain.

"Okay," the nurse softly reassured, as she stepped forward, visually checking the young girl's face, assessing what was left of the bruises.

"How are your ribs?" the nurse enquired, not making any attempt to remove or touch the dressing gown in cased the movement distressed her patient further.

"Fine," Hermione softly replied, her head still bent and shoulders hunched.

"Your head? Any shooting pains?"

"No," said Hermione, her breathing deepened as she began to control her emotions.

"And your fingers?" the nurse asked, looking at the slightly swollen fingers on Hermione's right hand.

"Fine," said Hermione as she looked up and unclenched her fists; her tone was flat and resigned as she came back to herself.

Madam Pomfrey extended her hand and lifted her eyebrows, a silent yet clear signal that she wanted to inspect the young woman hands.  
  
Hermione sighed and produced her hands for inspection. She was as shocked as the nurse to see the dried blood on her hands. The half moon circles had been etched into the soft skin, a bitter reminder of the morning's reality.  
  
The nurse looked deeply into the young woman's eyes, both questioning and reprimanding at the same time. Once she was satisfied that her meaning was understood and her warning noted, she flicked her wand, simultaneously cleaning the blood and healing the skin.

Hermione flushed in embarrassment, _'Stupid, idiot!'_ she thought to herself; she hadn't even noticed what she had done.

Satisfied with her inspection, Pomfrey cast a cleaning charm on Hermione's gown; she didn't trust girl to wash herself alone just yet.

"Miss Granger, I want you to take some Dreamless Sleep potion," said the nurse, as she removed a bottle from the trolley next to Hermione's bed.

Hermione opened her mouth to protest; she didn't want to sleep. She wanted her parents to be alive. She wanted something, anything, to fill the gaping hole that was currently occupying the area her sanity used to be.

But before Hermione could get a word out, Madam Pomfrey placed a glass of Dreamless Sleep potion in her hand, and fixed her with a stern look, killing any attempt at protest instantaneously. Closing her mouth Hermione climbed into the bed and drank the potion.

Summoning the screens, the nurse placed them back around the bed as Hermione settled back into it. Crookshanks threw the nurse a dirty look and settled into the chair next to the cot.

Standing over Hermione the nurse took the glass from the young woman's hands; she gave the girl a look of pity before adjusting the last screen, shielding her from the rest of the ward.

_'You don't deserve this Hermione…you should be dead! Nothing… Failure!'_ chanted the voice in a never ending mantra.

_'Did Pomfrey know about the voice?'_ wondered Hermione absentmindedly. Her eyes became heavy as a feeling of warmth travelled down her body, chasing away the edgy trembling. _'Perhaps the dreamless sleep potion was not so much to keep away nightmares, but a way to silence the inner self.'_ Unfortunately Hermione did not get any further in her musings; because her last thread of consciousness frayed, causing her to slip into the warm darkness.

**o-o-o-o-o-o**

**Authors Notes:**

A massive thank you to **Persephone** who spent four hours correcting this and finding the 167 errors that this text contained. Another massive thank you to **Estrilda** who has helped me pick up mistakes from chapter one right through to chapter three, Thank you babes!

A massive hug to **Elosia**, who is my personal guru. Her support, good humour, and damn silliness has kept me entertained and focused.

Again thank you to all that have reviewed!


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